The truth behind the Mom.

As a parent and full-time college student, things can get harder, harder than most can imagine. Tonight Twin 1, spilled an 8 0z bottle of formula down his new Pj outfit, just bathed and now smelling like a load of milk and if you've ever smelled children's formula you would know that it stinks, and if it settles it smells even worse. Making things harder,

Admitting that you have a problem is always the first step they say. since having the twins life is chaos and this mom like every other mom around me, has PPD. If you do not know what that is, it's the dreaded depression that 9/10 moms get after having a baby.. Post Partum depression  Oh, wait a minute... You mean woman don't just pop out babies and become maternal and shit?

No, Not all the time, we have a maternal instinct, yes, but just like the daddies, our lives are changed. our lives are sucked from us and changed to become all about the tiny being that we nurtured. Our lives are changed and all true mothers would agree that it's for the best. That also doesn't mean that there is a big adjustment period where our moods are up and down and after giving birth, Hello... Hormones, they are like kids jacked up on sugar where a crash is not expected.

I know that I said that I wouldn't do any mom blogs but this is not that, one post is as good as it gets. topics can get limited in the life of a mom. Post-Partum depression doesn't mean that a mom hates her kids, it means that the change from 0 to 1 or 1 to an automatic 3 like me means that shit just got real and we must change our views of happiness to fit the new life we are in.

Mom should mean resilient, even the men readers look at your moms or the mother figures in your lives think about the sacrifice that they went  through to make sure you were okay. If you have a Mother like mine then don't go on the defense I also mentioned Mother figures because there are plenty of women who can not handle or adapt to what being a mom entails. My Mother, avid alcoholic, and liar. We don't have a relationship because her relationship with booze  was stronger than the bond of mother and daughter, but over the many tears spilled years of dreaming that I had a mommy that loved me, a few very strong woman filled that void. I am a Daddies girl, and he's not even my blood. My stepfather stepped up and become the Mom and Dad that I was missing in my life. 


Anyway, my point is that before the idea that when a woman becomes a mother they are expected to be independent, take care of the children and let go of dreams, because of thats what we as woman are "programmed" to do. We are supposed to automatically be okay with it. Please our lives are stressful, we have gray hair before were 30, we don't have great figures a lot of us aren't even on the "MILF" status.  A lot of us have at one point wished that we would have waited to have babies, but the smiles and their personality and the little things they do that amaze us erases all doubt in an instant.
so to all my Mothers, You are outstanding! and

 the father readers, you guys are great ( I can't leave ya'll out) You've actually stuck around through all the crazy

Thanks,
Maddie 

Social Experiment or Just Done With The Bull Shit?

Why don't you tell me?

I've always been an interactive social media user. I've loved the groups, the drama, the humor and being able to connect and be apart of strangers internet lives. Yesterday something happened, something that I'm not at all ready to be open about quite yet but it's something that will make 2018 and possible 2019 the worst time in my life.
       In the midst of something happening I stopped and thought about the drama, the fake, the noticed and the not and made the decision to disconnect from Facebook, Instagram, snap chat, some where along the way of blossoming into a social butterfly I've experienced, birth and loss and terrible news. I've realized that I have lost sight of myself, where I'm going in my life and who I truly am inside.

I'm also so very tired of the fake " I care about you, I'll be praying" those words are as shallow as a kids pool. Online that’s what you hear, constantly those who hide behind the screen conform to the actions of others. It’s always what the majority is doing instead of finding ways to be ourselves. I’ve alwats encouraged uniqueness but with the Boom of Social media face to face interactions are almost. Nonexistent. Take a look at the dating scene, online. What happened to the romantic comedies where girl meets guy by spilling her drink or being a klutz? Yeah that doesn’t happen. Being rude to one another is the new normal. So along the way of my disconnect from Facebook I am going to document more of the social interactions that I have. (Trust me with twins you have a lot).

It’s a shame really that terrifying news would cause someone to retract into a shell. But not surprising as people change they take in information and grow around it. I myself am trying to find the light through this darkness, even though the outcome is unavoidable I can make peace and appreciate the world around me alittle more. Okay, I’m not taking about the people cause there’s only a couple dozen that have the strict morals that I was raised with all the rest are loosy goosey. I’m talking about the beauty that’s still in the world, a helping hand, a smile, a random act of kindness and the beauty of Earth itself. Even though we’ve caused the climate change, greenhouse gases and global warming. The Earth is still the most beautiful place I know and when Emersed in nature someone can find the light that has been tucked away. Besides isn’t it good to approach things with an open, clear mind?

I’m goung to wrap this post up with alittle word to the wise:

There is so much bullshit in the world that it is important to weed out the truth, tell the truth and be openly honest with those around you. Lying and causing bullshit never ended well. Own up to your actions and take responsibility you will be more respected if you do.

Oh shit, I’m being sentimental 🤦🏻‍♀️

Thank you,
Maddie